For Good or Bad, Better or Worse
by Jateshi
Summary: Remus has precious little of Sirius after the other man dies but what he does have are memories, and those are more valuable than their weight in gold. RLSB, somewhat HBP compliant, equivalent to rated G


**Title**: For Good or Bad, Better or Worse  
**Pairing**: Sirius/Remus  
**Rating**: G  
**Word Count**: 756  
**Warnings**: I'd say mildly depressing, with OotP spoilers. Implied relationship between two men.  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own either Sirius, Remus, or anything in the Harry Potter world. For the record, I also have no rights on Wicked, just in case it comes up. I'm a poor little college student and about all I've got is a few cans of Pringles to serve as lunch/dinner for the rest of the week.  
**Summary**: Remus has precious little of Sirius after the other man dies but what he does have are memories, and those are more valuable than their weight in gold.  
**Author's Notes**: Because Lia could use a surprise cheer-up as much as anyone could possibly need one. So Lia, this is for you and only for you. Lyrics (when they get used) from Wicked and particularly from For Good which served as the inspiration for this fic. _Post OotP, somewhat HBP compliant, taking place in the summer days before HBP._

**For Good or Bad, Better or Worse**

_Like a stream that meets a boulder,  
Halfway through the woods  
Who can say if I've been changed for the better  
Because I knew you, I have been changed for good._

There wasn't a body to bury, an occurrence which seemed to be more and more frequent. They were so few fighting on behalf of the Order and so many of them - or their families, or their friends, or their lovers - were dead, joining the great crowd in the sweet, tender embrace of the Shadow Lover. Remus didn't even have a marker to visit, something external to talk to and chat at like the great monuments some of the other families could afford - Sirius was a criminal, according to the Ministry, so he died with no one to mourn him.

But they didn't know Remus mourned him or if they did the Ministry, in its great faceless bureaucratic tendency to dismiss the common man as insignificant, never cared. He was left with only memories and those were a precious few for the great many years he and Sirius had shared the earth together; so many lost to the void of Azkaban and dark hatred, unintelligently-assigned blame spread on the wrong party for the deaths of their mutual best friends.

He had smiles though, glimpses of Sirius' old humor even after the haunting years of Azkaban had taken their toll. He had memories (faint though they were) of Sirius laughing, Sirius smiling, the heated way his skin would burn when Sirius touched him. The hours they spent in silence just lying in each other's arms were a cold comfort when he was alone in his bed, staring through the glass at the waxing or waning moon, but they were something he _had_. Having those memories was better than the empty look he once caught in Sirius' eyes before that last Christmas, that look which made Remus wonder just how many years were gone from his friend's mind thanks to the soulless monsters who served as prison guards.

Even more important than those memories was one single thing burned, etched, driven so completely into his mind and body and soul it was irrevocable in its affirmation of the love they'd once shared. He had countless memories of Sirius, when the other man had thought he was asleep, tenderly brushing aside strands of his white-streaked hair and kissing his forehead gently. Then Sirius' voice, laden with soft melodic overtones that had melted hundreds of maiden's hearts before he had ever gotten a chance to hear it, would whisper close to his ear. Sirius wouldn't speak loudly, because he was afraid Remus might wake up and hear him, but he'd barely brush his lips against the outside of Remus' ear and whisper "I love you" with all of his heart.

It was a great joke that Sirius Black could ever fall in love. When they'd first started to date the whole world (or at least all of Hogwarts) had placed bets on how many days they'd last. One month passed and they still were together and the rumors began - the accusations that Remus had done something, the accusations that Sirius had been leading everyone along all that time. One _year_ had gone by and then people had slowly moved on, looking at them and shaking their head but starting to slowly accept that they were a couple, and had lasted this long. And then out of Hogwarts, they stayed together, even when it'd meant a new harsh adversity neither of them had expected. Sirius had been the gallant and protective guy from the start showing in little ways that, to anyone with eyes, he was in _love_ with (of all people) Remus Lupin.

_Because I knew you  
I have been changed For good_

Knowing that Sirius loved him was a blessing. It was a blanket he could wrap himself in and hold tightly around his body, much like Sirius' old cloak Remus had dragged from storage ever since he'd not come back with them from the Ministry. The scent of Sirius, that his mind had labeled the other boy with to the point that smelling it was a sign of something good, was going to fade - even a stasis charm could do only so much for it, maybe prolong it a few years. But for as long as it lasted, no matter what came, it was a piece of Sirius which made the memories more alive when he needed them. He could close his eyes and imagine those were Sirius' arms wrapped around his body, breath in that crisp and musky scent which had always been a part of the man, and remember what it sounded like to hear him say how much he was loved.

----


End file.
